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  • Writer's pictureGeorge Negm

It is the Secret Value that gives Fulfillment and Empowerment in Life

Most everybody has the desire to live a fulfilling life and make a difference in the world; however, when asked what kind of impact they want to create, most of them are hesitant and vague. Knowing is key, and it is a well-known fact that people who are focused and true to their highest values go further in life.

But first, let me pose a question you may have asked yourself time and again. How are your values surfacing into your consciousness and influencing every decision and every action you take in your life?

The answer lies in our innate personal philosophy, and with that, I want to introduce to you the study of Axiology. Axiology can be the catalyst to fulfillment in your life. Axiology defined is the study of meaning and worth; in practice, Axiology is identifying what you value most in your life. It is the secret value that gives you fulfillment and empowerment in life.

My teacher and mentor, Dr. John Demartini, wrote the book The Values Factor. In this book, Dr. Demartini, a human behavioral specialist and business consultant working with CEO's of fortune 500 companies, speaks of how our values are derived from our voids. In other words, what we think is most missing in life is what becomes most important to us.

For example, if we think that we do not have wealth, then we look for ways to make money. If we are not in a relationship, then we look for a partner that will make us whole. If we do not have a career, then we look for education or a job that will lead to our long-term career goals.

Ultimately this means that our voids most profoundly determine our values, and the summation of our voids dictates our decisions and actions, which in the end shape the journey of our life.

Let me explain this more concretely. Say you are going to meet a new important customer, someone you admire and who by their savviness and success in business, you hold in great esteem. You, on the other hand, feel like you are walking on eggshells and ready to bend some rules in fear of losing the deal. What has happened here is that you put the customer on a pedestal and minimized yourself relative to him, which is a disempowerment approach.

Unfortunately, this unbalanced behavior can happen in any area of your life. It could happen when in a relationship with somebody you think is more intelligent, seeing others who you perceive with a more stable relationship, people who socially have more influence, are more inspired and more dedicated to better health and fitness.

It does not matter what you are admiring or fascinated by, but the imbalance of what you create anytime you put somebody above you leads to minimizing yourself. What happens then is a Void.

So how is the Void created?

It is created when you are too humble to admit that what you see in them is already inside you. It happens when you have disowned a part of yourself, which called dismemberment—a void is formed in your psyche.

This dismemberment is one half of the Void.

We also have moments where we meet somebody to whom we think we are superior, and who we look down on, maybe resent or negate them. We do not have the intention to judge people, but we very commonly, self-righteously, exaggerate ourselves relative to other people.

In being honest, think now about how many times you felt that the way your cousins are raising their kids is wrong? Or the things that your partner is buying at the mall are completely useless and a waste of money?

Again, this behavior can happen in any area of your life. We are often too proud and end up thinking we are smarter than or more successful than other people. We feel we have more money than them, more influence, or a better relationship; we are more spiritually aware or have that special something that you cannot name but which is certainly lacking in them.

The second half of the Void happens every time you are too proud to admit that what you see in them, is inside you. Again, you have disowned a part of yourself, and once again, dismemberment occurs.

Now that you know a little bit more, let us bring Axiology and connect all this with Values.

  1. If you exaggerate yourself and minimize them, you tend to project your values onto them and try to get them to live up your standards.

  2. And if you minimize yourself and exaggerate them, you tend to submit and project their values onto you and try to live up their standards.

The reality is that every human being, regardless of their faith, gender, color, or race, is designed to fulfill what he or she believes is the most important thing to do at a particular moment. Therefore, trying to do the opposite, or trying to adopt other people’s values or get them live to yours is delusional and self-defeating.

It is the fundamental reason why we want to be loved and appreciated for who we are. Who we are is an expression of our Values.

Consequently, every time we judge, and we look up at or down on people, we see a fantasy or nightmare, we love or hate. What we are doing is creating a pair of voids that determines the values that we are striving to integrate into our lives.

Our consciousness, our intuition knows that we are judging and that we are deflecting some of those traits we see. However, our consciousness is intended to keep us in a balance so we can own all those traits and transcend that judgment to realize that we are all one as well as a reflection of each other.

Therefore, inside each one of us, we have the hero and the villain, the saint and the sinner; in equal parts is the virtue and the vice. When we embrace both sides of life, it makes us feel integrated, fulfilled, and whole.

The key is to achieve an equanimity within ourselves and to access the greatest potential to empower the seven areas of our life—mental development, vocation, finances, relationships, social life, physical health, and inspiration—

If you live by your highest value—your purpose in life—you will be more objective, you will be able to embrace both sides of events and own all traits the positive and the negative. By doing so, you will have the highest probability of fulfilling the greatest number of voids with the greatest amount of value.

If you are looking to transform your life and direct your decisions to make inspiring actions, download my eBook and see what I can do for you as your life coach. It is your starting point for self-awareness. Learn how you can determine your Axiology and start crafting goals that have meaning and purpose.


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